Sunday, July 24, 2011

That's It! I Am Out Of Here.

I am sooo rich, rich beyond belief. I use $100 bills for toothpicks and stitch money together for blankets. Now that I can afford it I am off to buy a floating tropical island mega-yacht. Thank God I am outta here. The heat, the riff raff, the little people and societies' ills. Us rich people should never have to be part of that. That's why we live in our gated communities in NoMa and El Cid and The Peninsular. But with my money I have grown out of that lifestyle, I don't want anyone who cannot match my income anywhere near me so hence the purchase of my boat - the 'Up Yours'.

I am going to power the 'Up Yours' using people. Yes indeed powering it all would be the world's poor, because their slender matchstick frames are akin to brittle kindling, and I imagine they'd be at least half as effective as diesel fuel or whatever it is powers 90-meter-long floating cabana mega yachts these days. Plus, they're free and easily found all around the world, and their self-sustaining numbers are graciously increasing every day!

Just me alone as I will have no friends, no real friends that is, just those superficial bastards who want to have a look at my volcano. I will park near Deer Island just so everyone can get a good eyeful of my wealth as they circle around in their tatty hire dinghys and me and my butler can try and sink them with shotguns if they get too close and them of course if we kill one or two we can cruise into international waters away or off course bribe the officials.

Adios all you poor suckers.

(note from editor - please, please, please sail by Mogadishu when you cruise the Indian Ocean)

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