I Put My Money On The Illuminati.

We reckon it's those naughty Illuminatii who pull the strings. It's such a great name. But we wish it was the Reptilian Aliens just because they entered Dick Cheney's body. Probably up his arse while he was enjoying it.

However we have our own society, a branch of MazReal called 'The Vril' and they live in that old stinky theatre down Serdán for want of a subterranean haunt. They are a subterranean society of matriarchal, socialist, utopian superior beings and use a secret form of energy that is channeled through Chihuahua dogs and their owners. It is a new society and we are yet to inform the world of our take-over demands when we bring into the open these secrets that the government wants to remain buried:

Denver International Airport is the centre of a New World Order and there is a massive city underneath it.

Airplane contrails are actually the government spraying chemicals on the population and crops for mysterious purposes.


"The Man" wants marijuana to be illegal and the real reason is that hemp is so useful that it threatens the paper, rope and cloth industries.


Water flouridation makes us susceptible to government brainwashing.

..................monkeys.........................pyramids.................  .................  ........  ............. ...  aliens .......................ketchup.......mind..... .................. .... control.    (this one is so secret this is all we allow)

and many more.....................



Watch this space!!!!

Chihuahua Racing. Make Money On Your Lazy Pooch.

There are many novel ways to make your idle pooch earn its keep and help pay for all that food you place in front of it. Well here's one way and as Mazatlán is awash with these feisty little critters we have decided to open a Chihuahua race track next time we alight back in that fair city.

We think Chihuahua racing would be akin to cock fighting and bear baiting and assume the dog owning fraternity will be down on us like a proverbial ton of bricks, so we have decided to a hit and run racing circuit where we will carry rolled up grass, betting booths and all the paraphernalia pertaining to dog racing in the back of a van and set up in secret locations.

To earn big bucks with your diminutive dog keep your ears or it eyes open to this space where we will keep you informed of the locations one hour in advance. That will give you time to tell your partner you are taking Froo Froo, Boo boo, Amigo, Tinkerbell, Poco, Tiny, Tiddly or Totty for a stroll down the malecón.

Feel the high of participating in an illegal racket, put your pooch in your pocket and watch this space!!!!!!!!!!

The Mexico I Left Behind...

When one now thinks of Mexico as their home, being away one can feel homesick after a while and this is what I really miss. - the Mexico I left behind.

God how I miss serenading my loved one whilst she sucks on a cigarette cradling a rifle in her lap with belts of ammunition jewellery. My amigos drinking cheap mescal and eating beans and tortillas heartily swapping tales around a flickering camp fire somewhere up in the twinkling moonlit Sierra Madre.

You Have To Feel Important To Kill

You have to feel important to kill. That is why narcos drive big flashy cars, wear big hats and animal skin boots and keep exotic animals and beautiful women on a leash. That is why they have brass bands at cock fights.

As Mexican authorities capture a growing number of drug gang leaders, many of their pets are being driven from their gilded cages into more modest housing in the country's zoos. That's proving to be overwhelming for some institutions.

We're Gone................

Thanks All.

Restaurant Review. New Section Reviewing Restaurants...

ZAB Thai.

or is it ZIB Thai, ZEB Thai? Anyway it's that Thai joint by a gas station up there in the Golden Zone.
We walked in loudly proclaiming that we were famous restaurant reviewers and give us the best seats in the house and free food as the last thing you want is a restaurant not to be paying for your meal. Or is it the other way round? Anyway we walked in sat at a table and ordered lots of food. The food came after a perfect amount of time, just as we were getting bored with each others small talk and company. My dinner guest was about to call me a miserable stupid bastard and I was about to place my hands around his neck when we saw the food there.

Here is some Thai food, not from BING Thai Mazatlán but somewhere else. In fact his food looks a bit like this in smaller plates and hopefully the chef takes his cigarette out his mouth sometimes.

There were lots of dishes mostly of a brown hue and some green things and red whatchamacallits. Some on sticks that we dipped in coloured stuff, some in ball form which we also dipped in gooey stuff, a bowl of white sticky stuff and some plates of what could be that meat from cows accompanied by rings of those things you put over your eyes when you are hungover. And a plate of something we presume comes from the sea.

We reluctantly paid and left after asking the valet boy who was sitting outside to fetch our car pronto. He in fact said he was the owner and said his name was Suki Yaki Ying Tong Tiddle I Po or something like that.

He said "do come back" and we said "we certainly will."

So go have some food at Bak Thai the food is great. But remember you have to fetch your own car.

(We went on to see a film about monkeys taking over the world and learning to talk and alluding to the fact that all humans are bastards. But more of that in our NEW movie Review Section coming up next.......................)

Our next food review is from Chow In Lai's Crap Shack just on the side of Highway 2313002, Zebo City, Shandong Province, China.

The Glamour of Narco Culture

Some great and disturbing images from photographer Shaul Shwarz of Getty Images

Between breaks on the set of a narco movie

Narco movie

Band singing narcocrridas about to go on stage in LA. Los Buknas de Culicán.

At a narco club in LA

On Set of a narco-movie

 

Narcocorrido artist El Komander in LA

On Set

The Real Thing

The Real Thing

Not playacting

Thanks to  © Shaul Shwartz Getty Images