Female and Male Swimsuit Edition through the Ages

Now that the weather is becoming decidedly muggier, it is time to drag that tired old body down to the beach and crawl under the waves. Now is the time to get in before the sea turns to a warm chicken soup and the nasty little jellyfish swarm in at the first sign of rain. Most of us are older enough to remember those swimsuit fashions from the years 1900 onwards.  I however was unhappy when the male full body suit and edge of sea changing room on wheels disappeared because I have to show to the world my emaciated thing called a body when I stagger down to the water's edge. Anyway we have taken to river swimming now so that disgusting sight will no longer be in evidence unless anyone is around bird watching at those cayman infested rivers I take a dip in.

LADIES FIRST:

Below is Micheline Bernardini (nude dancer) modelling the first bikini from 1947 and the box it came in.

Those days women were less hung up about maintaing a size 0.

Nice ones blue and yellow but not sure about the Elizabethan one in the middle. 

Hello girls.

One wave will have that sexy knitted marine motif suit hanging over her knees

Olden days cheap skate photographer can't even be bothered to go to the beach

Ahhhh, the colors of the sixties

These lovely ladies about to paddle their car down the creek

One scary dude.

My mum forced me to wear a crocheted boy swim suit that ended up half way down my legs when wet.

Make you're own swimsuit type thingy

Swimsuit, ball and little sombrero just right for those Mexican beaches.

Dolores Del Rio doesn't leave much to the imagination with her piece of cloth for a swimsuit

Do the Charleston down on the beach with these surprisingly contemporary looking women.

Sultry Eva Brent

Ouch, I bet those rings get hot.

....................In the spirit of even handed reporting..

MEN'S SWIMWEAR TOO

These were the days when men hung around rivers playing around with no kit on.

A couple of Ozzies sharing drugs and wearing the first Speedo trunks.

My era when men were men and wore dancing pumps to the beach without someone kicking sand in yer face.

Didn't we all love to prance around holding hands acting like teapots. That's what river and lake swimming is all about for men.

Looking like something out of Wagner was cool too and it appears the woman on his right is chatting into a cell phone or pointing out the lobster stuck in her earhole.

Men also liked the sexy 'off the shoulder exposing the left nipple look' look. I bet those nice chaps allow ladies first through doors and  say "after you madam."

Now these dudes from 1910 look like they were here the other week at the surf gig we had here in Mazatlán. Me, I'd go for the knitted one like my mom used to make. The chicken hair cut was all the rage back then.

That's me now on the left with all my billiard playing Kaiser Bill lookalike friends. You see I never go swimming without my socks and lace-up shoes.

Now JohnnyWeismuller would make a boy's heart flutter with his Tarzan body, porcelain smooth chest and swimsuit pulled halfway up his washboard stomach.

Don't tell these Nazis they look like a couple girly boys.

No frigging comment except this man should be banned from leaving his front door never mind pull himself into a little Speedo with red hearts on it. I reckon he is English or German and slaps his wife and kids around.

Mark Spitz is about the only guy who looks good flying through the air in a Speedo.

This guy can't quite pull off the 'medallion man' description till he grows a bit of chest hair and beefs up a bit.

These boys get my vote. Look out girls! Or should we say look out boys!

The newest thing on the beach. Nowhere to keep your suntan lotion or car keys but he's at least he's found room somewhere to keep his daily fruit portion .

Only Armani can pull off wearing a white mankini at his age.

One way to get people pointing and laughing at you on Olas Altas or even Stone Island or anywhere for that matter. We reckon it could scare the kids and grannies as well. Most likely to be worn indoors hanging upside down holding a screeching cat in one hand and a cat-o-nine-tails in the other.